Someone Please

Give me the energy to get those damned cookies done. I haven't been sleeping well, so tired. I have sugar cookie dough in the fridge calling my name. I still have to make peanut butter cookies too. Ugh...Not feeling it, but I must.

I Suck

...and not in a good way. I have every intention of keeping up with this blog, then my short attention span kicks in, or the kids get me busy, or depression makes me not give a shit. Or. Or. Or. Lots of excuses as to why I give up on this and everything else I intend to do.

I have these ideas in my head that sound good! They sound feasible! They sound like something that would improve my way of life in some way-I'll be more organized, healthier, happier, you name it. Then that voice creeps in and tells me to forget it. It's not going to work because I won't actually get it done. I begin to doubt myself and my ability to do whatever it is. I begin to believe that I really can't finish whatever it is that I started, so I quit. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and I'm absolutely disgusted by it and by myself.

My sweet husband...God, I don't know how he puts up with it. I start things, I get distracted, I get defeated, and I stop. He picks up the pieces and keeps us going. I keep waiting for that moment when he says "Enough!" and sees me for what I really am.

When I started this blog a year ago (with 4 posts, go me!), I swore I was going to be honest. I was going to share what makes me who I am. I was going to link this shit to Facebook, make it public, and let everyone see who I am. Yeah. I'm too chicken. Maybe someday. Not today.

Edited: My husband, the darling that he is, made me amend this to say that I baked 19 dozen cookies today. He's standing over my shoulder eating one...I bet it's a tollhouse. He loves tollhouse.
He just corrected me: it's a toffee cookie.