Gaming Agoraphobia?

I did mention that I'm nuts, right?  Three or four years ago, I had a teensy lil breakdown, and ended up agoraphobic as a result.  I couldn't get halfway across my backyard without having a panic attack.  It sucked.  Tons.  I'm doing better now-still not good with crowds, but I can manage going to the store and on outings with my family.  If it gets too crowded, I get twitchy, and my darling husband knows to get me out before I start foaming at the mouth.

Fall and Winter are always tough on me.  I always end up in a downswing around this time of year.  At least we can recognize it for what it is and we can deal.  My husband knows that I'm not avoiding him;  I'm just retreating into myself a bit.  I can control myself better because I know what is causing it.

We are gamers.  I've mentioned that, no?  He has gone back to playing WoW now that Cataclysm is about to be released (Dec. 7th, my MMO widows!).  He wants me to play with him, and I want to play with him.  However, I get in, see lots of people running around, and promptly log out because I don't feel like dealing with people.  In a game. 

This bodes well for the rest of the season.  Poor husband.

I Hate Stickers!

With every fiber of my being, I hate them.  They are all over Thing 1 and Thing 2's bunkbeds.  They are currently trying to get them off.  Should make for a quiet day.

Parent Teacher Conferences

I have those today.  Thing One is in 3rd grade, Thing Two in kindergarten.  Usually, I go in expecting good things.     I am not hopeful today.  Thing 1 has had a sub for the last few weeks-his absolutely wonderful teacher had a baby on Halloween.  Of course, the kids wanted to know if this meant Baby N could become a vampire-gotta love kid logic, eh?  Anyway, he has a sub as a result.  I'm not thrilled with Sub.  Sub believes in peer punishment.  One kid acts up, the class pays.  This does not work with Thing 1.  He is a good student-he's very well behaved and hasn't gotten in trouble yet.  He has one episode per school year where he does something stupid that results in a note home.  Truthfully, it's stupid stuff.  He doesn't hurt anyone, he doesn't break anything.  He just does something stupid.  He hasn't been stupid so far this year.  So, being made to write papers on how he'll change his behavior and losing recess really ticks Thing One off.  Thing One has warned me that I may get a note when I go to the PT conference-this would be one the entire class had to write to their parents about their misbehaving.  He is unhappy, and I'm sorry but I tend to believe my kid when he's telling me he's innocent in all of this.  His absolutely wonderful teacher had nothing but good things to say when I've talked to her; she even called me at home to tell me how wonderful he is in class!


The second issue with the Sub is seating arrangements.  Mrs. Wonderful Teacher has a reward system.  Part of that is being able to using the tickets they earn to 'buy' things like picking a new place to sit.  Thing One can't stand the child he sits next to.  This child won't keep his hands out of Thing One's desk, and he tries to cheat off of his tests and classwork.  Thing One had been saving his tickets to buy the opportunity to read to Thing Two in his classroom.  He decided to spend some tickets to move away from that kid.  Sub won't let him until the classroom behavior improves.  Um, what?

I hate confrontation.  But, I'm going to be forced to go in there and stand up for my kid because Sub insists on punishing the entire class for the behavior of a few.

Wish me luck.

I am many things

I am a mother.  I am a wife.  I am a sister.  I am a daughter.  I am a daughter-in-law.  I am a friend.  I am a niece.  I am a caretaker. 

I am short.  I am chunky.  I am illogical.  I am strange.  I am loud.   I am tattooed.  I am pierced.

I am depressed.  I am the daughter of an alcoholic.  I am a self-harmer.  I am a survivor.

I am thinking that 'am' is a very odd looking word when you've typed it this many times.

I was shaving my legs...

...and as I did so, I realized that I wanted to start a blog.  Again.  My life is far from perfect, believe me, and I have no good advice, really.  But I do have experiences, lots of them, that I think it's time I share.